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<title>Losing My Life (Andy Biersack x Ronnie Radke) by xcarmenchaosx</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895131">Losing My Life (Andy Biersack x Ronnie Radke)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcarmenchaosx/pseuds/xcarmenchaosx'>xcarmenchaosx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Veil Brides, Falling in Reverse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Andy is the therapist, BoyxBoy, Emo, Gay, M/M, Paige is the bff everyone wants, Ronnie is a sad boi, So is Crissy, Therapy, Willow is in this too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:36:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcarmenchaosx/pseuds/xcarmenchaosx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronnie goes to therapy and Andy is his therapist. Both of them like each other, but they want to keep everything professional.</p><p>btw no hate on Ronnie, Andy, Juliet, Paige, crissy, and Willow. I'm writing this for fun so yeah.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy Biersack/Ronnie Radke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. (1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Ronnie, you should get therapy.' 'It'll help you a lot.' That's what everyone says. Since when did they care about me? I guess I should try therapy. I want to get better, right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>---♡---</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Daddy, why are you leaving?", Willow asked me.</p><p>I avoided her question and said, "I need to go do something. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, Paige will take care of you."</p><p>She pouted and hugged me. I hate it when she's upset.</p><p>"Thank you so much, Paige. You're a really great friend."</p><p>She smiled. "No problem, Ronnie."</p><p>I exited her house and got in my car. I'm so nervous. First of all, I don't trust people. Second of all, nobody wants to hear me talk about my stupid depression.</p><p>I made it to the office about 10 minutes before my appointment. The office was a regular looking house. I scoffed. The therapist is probably some old dude. I sat down in one of the seats, waiting for my appointment. Boy, was I wrong. The therapist looked around 30 and I could see tattoos poking out of his sleeves.</p><p>"You're Ronnie, right?", he asked. I nodded. "I'm Dr.Biersack, but you can call me Andy if you'd like to.", he introduced himself. We went into his office, full of books, posters, and batman figures. "Would you like anything to drink?"</p><p>"Um, water is fine.", I replied. He handed me the glass of water. "Thanks.", I said.</p><p>He smiled and sat across from me.</p><p>"So, Ronnie, tell me about yourself."</p><p>"Um, I like music, I have a lot of tattoos, and I have a daughter named Willow.", I told him.</p><p>"Can you tell me about her?", he asked.</p><p>I grinned. "Sure. She'll be 7 this year. She's very sweet and playful. She cares way too much about me. "</p><p>"Tell me why you think Willow cares too much about you."</p><p>"Well, sometimes, I can't even get out of bed. She always has to try and help. She shouldn't have to worry about me. When my depression takes over, it's just," I paused for a second, "terrifying."</p><p>Andy nodded and wrote something down in his notepad.</p><p>"Has your medication been working lately?", he asked.</p><p>I thought for a moment before saying, "No."</p><p>Andy frowned a little. "We'll have to get you something else, then."</p><p>The rest of the session flew by quickly.</p><p>"Don't hesitate to call me if something's wrong.", Andy told me.</p><p>I thanked him before leaving.</p><p>I guess therapy isn't so bad, after all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>A/N So I never actually edited this. It's been in my notebook since 4ever lol. I know it's very short oops. and I know it's very bad whatever. I'll try to update it when I can. K byee 😘</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>P.S. Listen to Re-Stitch These Wounds. it's good 👍</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>ugh I re-read it oh god it's bad :/ </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>oh yeah I might change their ages or sumn idk yet</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. (2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>--TW S*ICIDAL THOUGHTS--</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>After I picked Willow up from Paige's house, she kept asking questions.</p><p>"Where were you? What did you do? Was it fun?"</p><p>I chuckled. "I'll tell you when we get home."<em>Wow, Ronnie, you can't even tell your kid what's wrong with you. Pathetic.</em></p><p>When we got home, we sat down at the table.</p><p>"So, you know how I get sad all the time?", I asked.</p><p>She nodded. "Yeah."</p><p>"It's called depression."</p><p>"Why do you have it?", Willow asked.</p><p>"Lots of things caused it.", I said. She's not old enough to know why.</p><p>"Are you dying?!", she questioned, grabbing my arm tightly.<strong> (yes a hoe got a dictionary XD)</strong> "I don't want you to die, Daddy!"</p><p>"Willow, I'm not dying. I'll be okay.", I assured her. "I go to therapy to help with my depression. If I'm really upset, you need to remember that I still love you, okay?"</p><p>She nodded. "Okay, Daddy."</p><p>That went well, I think...</p><p>
  <strong>----☆----</strong>
</p><p>Fuck, why am I still awake? I've been up for hours. The voices, they keep telling me things.</p><p>
  <em>You're stupid, Ronnie. You're dumb. You can't even have a stable relationship because you're too emotional. Willow thinks you're a horrible parent, and Paige thinks you're a horrible friend. You should just kill yourself already, or go back to drugs. It's your choice.</em>
</p><p>No, I won't surrender. <strong>(hehe song reference)</strong> I can't. I need to be here for Willow.</p><p>
  <strong>----☆----</strong>
</p><p>"Willow, where are you?", I called out. No answer. Um... okay. I walked around the house and stopped in the kitchen when I heard giggling. Willow was hiding underneath the table.</p><p>"C'mon, Willow, I need you to get ready.", I said.</p><p>"Why?", she asked.</p><p>"Because I couldn't find anyone to watch you, and I'm not leaving you here.", I explained.</p><p>"Oh, okay." She walked away.</p><p>I went into the kitchen and grabbed my pills. You know you can just swallow them all at once and never wake up, right? Um, no thanks.</p><p>Willow ran up to me. "Daddy, I'm ready."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>We went in the car and drove to the office.</p><p>I smiled when we got there. "Willow, we're here."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>She grabbed my hand and we walked in. Andy was already there and smiled. Willow hid behind me.</p><p>"That's Willow. She's a bit shy.", I told him.</p><p>Andy chuckled. "It's fine." He then looked at her and asked, "Would you like some crayons and paper for coloring?"</p><p>"Yes, please."</p><p>He handed them over to her.</p><p>"Willow, I'm going in. Make sure to behave. I'll be back in a bit."</p><p>She waved and I went in with Andy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>A/N I KNOW IT'S SHORT DON'T KILL ME I HAD TO REWRITE THE FIRST PART AND THEN I HAD TO SPLIT CHAPTER 3 IN HALF TO MAKE THIS LONGER CUZ IT WAS WAY SHORTER THAN THIS SO YEAH I'M I UPDATED IT SO I'M PROUD THAT'S IT K BYEE 😘</strong>
</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. (3)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Short chapter sorry</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Andy shut the door and sat down in front of me.</p><p>"How was your week?", Andy asked.</p><p>"To be honest, it sucked.", I admitted</p><p>"Why did it suck?"</p><p>"There's these voices in my head, and they keep telling me horrible things. I try to ignore them, but they won't go away. It feels like I'm losing my life!", I explained.</p><p>Andy wrote something down in his notebook and asked, "What are you doing to cope with those thoughts?"</p><p>"I used to write songs, but ever since Willow was born, I stopped. I also used to drink and do drugs, but that stopped. I don't have time to cope with sh-, stuff, I'm always busy with work and Willow.</p><p>"You could always write about what happened.", Andy suggested.</p><p>I shrugged. "Okay, I'll try it."</p><p><strong>----☆----</strong> </p><p>
  <em>Crissy: Don't forget to drop Willow off at my house in a few hours.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ronnie: I won't forget</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Crissy: Sure</em>
</p><p>What is her problem?! I'm not stupid! Okay... so maybe I did cheat on her. We weren't in love anymore. I could've broken up with her, but that was too hard. I didn't want to break her heart, but I did. It's not like I was the only one cheating. She did too. Well, I guess I'm kinda stupid. I can't even have a stable relationship.</p><p>
  <strong>----☆---- </strong>
</p><p>Welp, Willow is at Crissy's house, and I'm all alone. I hate being alone. It makes me feel so vulnerable. My phone buzzed. It's Crissy, again.</p><p>
  <em>Crissy: Ronnie, I need to tell you something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ronnie: what is it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Crissy: I'm dating someone new.</em>
</p><p>I left her on 'read'. She's already moved on, and I haven't. <em>That's because nobody likes you, Ronnie.</em> Shut up. <em>No, Ronnie. You know I'm right</em>. Go away! <em>Oh, Ronnie, you're so stupid and lonely. You're never going to find love. You're worthless.</em> They kept telling me things. I was trembling and struggling to breath. What is going on?! I got my phone out and dialed Andy's number.</p><p>"Um, Andy, sorry for bothering you, but I think I might be having a panic attack, or something.", I mumbled quickly.</p><p>"Oh, Ronnie, you're okay. Just take deep breaths.", he said.</p><p>Deep breaths. In and out. I was suddenly starting to feel better.</p><p>"Andy, it worked.", I whispered.</p><p>"Good. We're gonna talk about this at your next session, okay?"</p><p>"Okay. Bye."</p><p>"Bye."</p><p>That was kinda embarrassing. He probably thinks I'm some needy, insecure, freak. Whatever, this day has been shit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>A/N SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER THE EDITOR IN QUOTEV WASN'T WORKING SO I EDITED THIS ON AO3 PLZ LEAVE KUDOS I'M DESPERATE K BYEE 😘</strong>
</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. IMPORTANT A/N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>so school is starting soon and I have to focus on homework n shit so I'm not gonna be able to write and update any of my fics.</p><p>Also none of my stories will have smut, even if its like a joke cuz it makes me uncomfortable now like really uncomfy</p><p>And I don't really ship anything irl I jus write fanfics cuz its good practice n stuff</p><p>Anywayz this a/n will be in all of my fics so yeah k byee</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A/N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sooo... all 5 of my quotev accounts got ✨disabled✨ I don't know when I'll get a new one cuz I think I got IP banned. I have no idea when I'll be updating this fic, or any of my fics so yeah. I've had no motivation to write and ive been sad cuz i cant talk to any of my friends from quotev. I'll try my best to update this fic soon. Anywayz thx for reading my trashy fics I appreciate it a lot. K byee &lt;3</p>
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